It is time to stop worrying about worrying
You have much better things to do with your brain
I’ve got that sinking feeling in my stomach.
I signed up for the college class with the intention of attending every lecture. It was scheduled at the perfect time. 1:00 pm on Tuesday and Thursday. No chance of oversleeping or a hangover. Plenty of time for lunch. I was going to crush it.
Halfway through the semester I still couldn’t find the classroom. I tried several times to find it, but the lecture was over by the time I got to the class. The books were in my locker but I couldn’t remember my combination.
The exam is tomorrow.
I wake up. My mouth is dry and my heart is pounding.
Sound familiar?
This experience has a name. It is called The Dream
Psychologists have studied it for decades and suggest that it is the manifestation of someone feeling like they are not measuring up. It’s achievement stress. When the emotional brain trumps the higher, cognitive brain.
And I just thought I was going to flunk the class.
How about this one?
I’m feeling rushed.
Everyone is waiting for me to go somewhere. I have to pack up my stuff. For some reason, I can’t seem to get it organized. I’ve folded everything with impeccable care yet my clothes, shoes, and toiletries keep finding their way magically out of my carry-on suitcase. I’m like Sisyphus doomed to push the boulder up the mountain for eternity.
This one is called The Packing Dream and has lots of variations. Its meaning is determined by what you are packing, why you are packing, and who is waiting for you while you pack. The experts say this dream represents that you have a lot of activity in your life and you feel overwhelmed. Either changes are happening too fast or there is too much going on.
And I just thought I was an overpacker.
From my limited research on these two dreams, I have come to the unscientific but perfectly plausible explanation that they are how I process worry in my subconscious. Apparently, I don’t pay enough attention to my worries during the day, so they rear their ugly heads, nasty fangs, and terrifying storylines when I am asleep.
Sure, worry can be productive:
It can prompt us to be more aware of potential risks and motivate us to take action to prevent negative outcomes.
It can lead to brainstorming potential solutions and considering different scenarios, which can improve our problem-solving skills.
It can sometimes motivate us to make positive changes in our lives or to achieve our goals.
And it can be a way for us to process and acknowledge our emotions, which can help us better understand ourselves.
However, worry can also have negative implications:
Excessive worrying can lead to heightened stress and anxiety, which can have negative effects on both our physical and mental health.
It can cloud our judgment and lead us to make decisions based on fear rather than logic or reason.
It can detract from our ability to enjoy the present moment.
And it can consume a significant amount of mental energy and can prevent us from fully engaging with the world around us, leading to a decreased overall sense of well-being?
When is it okay to worry and when it is a misuse of imagination?
How do we get the right balance of worry in our lives, and rid ourselves of repetitive and stressful dreams?
Given that I am now an armchair expert on this subject, my first suggestion is to get yourself a good therapist. They can help you figure out how to get rid of the worries that are ruining your sleep and causing you to doubt your overall awesomeness.
If you don’t have a good therapist or you think the words “good” and “therapist” are total opposites and have no place in a credible sentence, my recommendation is to worry about things that you can control and let the world take care of the things you can’t.
Here are a few humble and well-intentioned suggestions on how to take control of things that cause many of us to worry.
If you worry about the weather - always bring sunglasses (you will look cool) and pack an umbrella (works for sun or rain).
If you worry about your health - take vitamins, exercise, drink a lot of water, wear sunscreen (which I should have started doing years ago), and hang out with people who make you laugh.
If you worry about your job security - work hard, keep your head down, learn about AI, and keep your LinkedIn profile updated.
If you worry about your family - stay in touch with them, tell them you love and appreciate them, and most importantly, be honest about how you feel when they dye their hair purple and pierce their lips.
If you worry about this country - stay informed, listen to people with other opinions, stay off of Facebook, don’t watch Fox (couldn’t help myself), and make sure you vote.
And lastly and most importantly if you worry about the future of the world - read, be kind, and don’t forget to wear sunscreen.
I hope you have pleasant dreams tonight.
Another excellent piece of writing. Thank you, Marj!
I believe that a solution for the recurring dream is to think deeply about the storyline and choose a better ending. That hasn’t worked for me. I might try sunscreen.
As always, a great post. What is the saying? Luck is where preparation meets opportunity. 😁
A friend of mine was always worried. She was able to better manage it this way: she got a big pottery vase with a notepad and pen. She would write down her worry and deposit it in the vase. After a month or two, she would dump it into the trash without reading the notes. It helped her get it out of her head, put it somewhere and let it go. Over time, she noticed that having a place to “put it” was helpful. She never ruminated on whether her worries came true. I thought it was pretty clever. (PS - she was sure to use a vase vs. a jar because a glass jar would remind her how many worries she had in there, which of course would cause more worry. ☺️)