I hate Pumpkin Spice Lattes

And several other things that irk me about this time of year

I’m usually not a hater. I try to appreciate the other side. But when it comes to the end of summer, sorry, autumn, I honestly have trouble embracing you.

Sure, I enjoy the vibrant reds, oranges, and yellows of the autumn leaves, the crunch of a ripe delicious apple picked from the orchard, and the brush of the brisk air against my cheeks.

But….what about the short days, cold temperatures, and having to search for matching socks to keep my feet warm?

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always disliked this time of year. I resented the cheery back-to-school advertising. I knew that those peppy kids with the new clothes in the back-to-school photos were only smiling because they were being paid. And shopping for school supplies at Staples! That was an annual tradition that I faced with dread. You know, that pit in your stomach on Sunday night. While I will admit that I got excited about a new backpack, lunch box, and the rainbow set of gel markers, I knew that shiny new three-ring binder signaled the beginning of scheduled days, endless homework, and the rise and shine of every morning.

My dislike for autumn fell to new depths once I had kids of my own. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids to infinity and beyond. However, we never got the transition from season to season quite right. Especially fall. Getting them out of bed in the morning to go to school became a daily challenge. Actually, it was way more than that. Promises of “I’ll get up in five more minutes” turned into daily altercations that included 4-letter words (not from me, of course), snorts, threats, pleading, hiding under the covers, projectile clothing missiles, and my favorite, empty attempts at flattery. More than once, these episodes ended with me physically dragging these two delightful adolesents out of their beds. While these morning monsters have grown into amazing young men who I miss every day, I do NOT miss that horrible morning routine.

The Pumpkin Spice Industrial Complex

I’m pretty verbal about my distaste for fall and pumpkin-spiced anything. So much so, that several people have told me that I need an “attitude adjustment.” They suggest that I look at the change of the season as a time to reset my focus and my priorities.

You may very well be one of the 500 million people who have enjoyed a pumpkin-spiced latte since Starbucks launched the flavor in 2003. PSL (yup, it has become an acronym) has become so popular that Forbes has named the all-spice, nutmeg, cinnamon, and ginger phenomenon the Pumpkin Spice Industrial Complex. It’s been referred to as the ultimate harbinger of autumn and the herald of all of the joys of the fall season.

Well, 500 million people can’t be wrong. Even if I don’t like the flavor, maybe I can use the seasonal transition to take a step back and appreciate what Pumpkin Spiced Latte can symbolize for me.

Embracing my inner Pumpkin Spice

I’ve put together the list below of things that I plan to do over the next few weeks as part of my autumn Pumpkin Latte reset. You are welcome to join me:

1. Clean up my workspace. Okay, yellow stickies and dried-out pens, I’m on to you. Off to the trash you go. Back issues of AdWeek, J.Crew catalogs, and Cannabis Business Journal (that’s a blog for another time), let’s put you all in your proper places.

2. Tidy up my errant electrical and computer wires. You know what I am talking about. There really is no reason to fight the tangles and mess when all it takes is a little wire discipline and one extension cord.

3. Clean out my closet. I’m not talking about Marie Kondo cleaning. More of a pruning of summer clothes I didn’t wear (it looked so cute in the catalog) before I switch over to my warmer weather clothes.

4. Throw away the mismatched socks. I honestly don’t know what happens in the clothes dryer. I load in a pair of matching socks, and only one comes out. Tell me. Is there a mysterious dryer mouse that eats them? Are all my missing socks hiding in the Upside Down? Whatever the cause, I hold on to faith that missing sock will return. It never does. Goodbye singles. It was great while it lasted.

5. Get new pillows. News flash, dear readers. According to the sleep foundation (yes - there is such a thing), you are supposed to change out your pillows every one to two years. Sure smooshed flat pillows are unsightly; even worse, your worn-down pillows can contribute to allergic reactions, skin breakouts, and sore muscles. Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Here is a handy guide to help you find your perfect pillow.

Are you with me? Let’s face the fall together. I made us an Autumn playlist to accompany our to-do list.

We’ve got to make fast tracks, though. Egg Nog season is right around the corner.