You need to be from a certain generation to get the reference in the title of this story.
It was a TV commercial by the Partnership for a Drug-Free America. In it, a stern man holds an egg in his hand and proclaims “This is your brain”. He then points to a menacing cast iron frying pan. “This is drugs.” Then he cracks the egg into the sizzling frying pan. And he warns, “This is your brain. On drugs”.
Heavy-handed. Sure. It was from the generation that brought us Reefer Madness and Just Say No. But the image is memorable.
Don’t worry. This isn’t a blog about the dangers of drugs or the bigger dangers of those who crusade against them.
I’m just borrowing a metaphor.
The other day, I was at a Shawn Colvin concert. She was breaking up her playlist with the wonderful backstories behind each song. Halfway through her set, she launched into a tale about a meeting with a songwriter. She looked hopefully at the audience as she searched for his name. “ You know the guy who wrote that song…”
After trying for a moment, she gave up and said apologetically “This is my brain….on age”.
All of us in the audience who, on any given day, aren’t sure where they left their keys, nodded in agreement. We get it.
Where did I put my phone?
As we age, it’s common to experience some degree of memory loss. Our brain, like other parts of our bodies, goes through structural changes. It shrinks in some regions. (I wish my waistline would do that). Often there is a reduction in the number and connectivity between neurons. There can be reduced blood flow to the brain and those free radicals (who used to be fun at parties) impact how we process and remember information. Some research says this forgetfulness starts when those first few grey hairs appear in the mirror between the ages of 30 and 40. I’m not talking about those serious, heartbreaking medical conditions. I’m talking about the inconvenient challenges created by the normal aging process.
You find yourself saying nonsense like:
“You know the guy from the place we went that time.”
“What was the name of that restaurant we loved in that town with the pretty fences?”
“That actor who was in that show with the funny title.”
And then you rack your brains until maybe, mysteriously, it pops back into your memory three days later.
It is frustrating.
To ease the pain, today, I am sharing some of my favorite ways to remember things.
Chunk information:
At work, we have this annoying but necessary security app called PING ID. It is a 6-digit code that you have to enter to prove that you are you. It is very stressful. You only have 30 seconds to rush and put the numbers in correctly or they lock you out until you get a new number.
After many embarrassing lock-outs and several choice four-letter words, I have learned to chunk the 6-digit number into 2 sets of 3 numbers. If I pay attention, I usually make it right under the wire.
Use only ONE place for to-do notes:
I love sticky notes. The different colors and shapes bring me joy. I’m in awe of the delightful origami animals you can make out of those perfect squares. But beware! Sticky notes are the enemy. You can put them anywhere. That means you can put them everywhere. And that spells danger for those of us who tend to write important things down on these notes and then stick them onto the next available surface.
After sending two baby gifts to a distant relative, showing up for an appointment for my annual mammogram that I had canceled, and almost not being able to board a plane because my license had expired, I knew something had to change. I bought an official notebook and have dedicated it to all of my to-dos. To be honest, I’m a work in progress on this. I’m still tempted every once in a while by those tantalizing sticky notes.
Get several pairs of sunglasses:
I’m not a very fancy sunglasses person so I can afford this luxury. I have three pairs of sunglasses. I keep one in my car, one in my backpack, and one pair in my purse. That way I don’t have to remember to bring them to where I am going.
There is one problem though with this strategy. If I put them up on my head when I get inside, I have been known to grab another pair. In my defense, I’ve never put two pairs up on my head at once.
This last tip is the most important and the one I’m not very good at. Give yourself a break. That sponge of your brain gets full. According to one study, the average person is exposed to 10,000 marketing messages a day. And that is just the stuff you don’t care about. When you add in work, family, friends, and hobbies (like origami animals) it is no wonder that we can’t process and remember all of it.
When I can’t remember something, I tend to get angry at myself. I tell myself that I am stupid. I commit to an exclusive diet of “brain foods” that are high in omega-3 fatty acids and antioxidants. Until I get sick of salmon.
Then I remember what Shawn Colvin said and I feel better. “This is my brain…on age.” I’ve been working it hard for over six decades. My guess is that you have too. It’s okay if it sometimes feels fried.
This holiday weekend, give your brain some rest.
Great post and yes I recognize all of it. I have a memory book that I keep forgetting to read. No kidding. I go thru my book shelf, pull it out, say “oh yeah” then put it back. I might have donated it. Not sure. The essence of it (when I cracked the spine once) was “pay more attention“. Ta da! Problem solved LOL
When I or a friend are in one of those moments, I sit back and relax and say “give it a moment it will fly back in. It always does”. And it does. Well, these days the definition of a moment is a lot more flexible.
When my aunt does one of those memory two step moves (“love your examples so true!”), my uncle will look at her and say “I need a noun”. It’s hilarious (I use it myself now) and relaxing in the moment helps.
I do think that between the devices chopping up our attention and knowing that we can Google things has not helped. I stopped hiding things in hiding places so secret that I can’t remember where I hid it.
Cheers! To age, wisdom, letting go of things not worth remembering and enjoying the present moment. 🩷🩷🩷
Thanks, Marji! Nice to know I’m not alone 😎