I have a crippling fear of getting up in front of a group to speak.
After all these years leading teams, presenting in boardrooms, and participating in panels, I still can’t sleep the night before the “event.”
In preparation, I practice. I do the positive visualization thing. And, of course, I imagine the audience in their underwear.
Despite all of that, I still dread it. Every time I pick up the microphone and all eyes turn to me, it feels like I’m the one in my skimpies. I have a moment of panic that is so intense that I think I’m suffering a heart attack and might die.
I’m not alone.
Mark Zuckerberg feels like he is dissolving in his lake of sweat when he speaks to his teams.
Adele has projectile vomited onto her adoring fans in the front row.
Even Barbara Streisand, one of the few EGOT winners (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony), stopped performing live for three decades after forgetting the words to a song.
Multiple studies have shown that public speaking is our number one fear as humans.
It ranks higher than the fear of death. Leading comedian Jerry Seinfeld famously quipped, “To the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.”
Why is that?
It’s impossible to hide our insecurities when the spotlight shines on us. Do we feel like we are being judged by the audience? Or is it that we are judging ourselves? Will we talk too fast? Forget our lines? Or will everyone stare at the enormous red zit pulsing on our nose that always seems to show up when we have a presentation?
The audience wants us to succeed.
They have chosen to be here. They want to be inspired, learn something new, and be distracted from their worries for a spell.
We’re the ones who expect us to fail.
Why is that?
Every person gets nervous at moments of growth, risk, and passion. When we expose ourselves and share something that others can’t see on the surface, we feel vulnerable and open to ridicule.
As we start a new year, let’s face our fear of public speaking together. Here are three things to try the next time you are called into the spotlight.
Practice. Practice. Practice. Sure, everyone tells you to practice but I’m sharing my proven trick for success. Set up a line of stuffed animals as your audience. Blue Bear, Mr. Pumpkin, Tickle, the Turtle with the chewed-up leg. Unless you just bought one of those mean slasher Winnie the Pooh dolls, stuffed animals are typically very nice and supportive. In my experience, they don’t heckle the speaker or care about the raging red zit on your nose.
Practice your speech using your best pirate voice. If you haven’t perfected the RRRR sound,
Stop putting it off. How many times have you wished that the meeting would end before it is your turn to present? Maybe it is just me, but I’ve been known to ask lots of questions of the other speakers to drag out their presentations….. so time runs out before I have to speak. No more delaying the inevitable with banal questions in 2024. We can do this!
If you are one of those special few who love getting up in front of an audience, we’d love to hear how you do it. In the meantime, you scallywags and scurvy dogs, feel free to try out these tricks and let me know how it goes.
Generally speaking (haha), my anxiety diminishes once I start to speak. I usually make some silly/attempts at funny comments which helps me to loosen up. Other than that, when I feel some deeper connection to what I am imparting, I feel less self-conscious and anxious. A coach once said that it's OK to be nervous before the game, but you shouldn't be nervous once the game starts. Ironically, I still find myself anxious when playing hockey even after the game has begun. I'm working on that.
Yes, I am one of those that loves public speaking. Ever since I was a teenager. A few things I did over the years to help refine my presentation.
1) I would run thru a few times, but I would practice the first 3-5 minutes 20 times. Once I got into a rhythm, I was in the groove. I had a “standard” introduction that I began each speech with - kind of like muscle memory it helped.
2) I recognized that for the first 1-2 minutes, everyone would be looking at me and thinking “I wonder if she always wears a black suit”... “Her butt is a little big but the black looks slimming”... “why does she wear her hair that short?”... and on and on, allowing whatever mental noise to happen because it will. After a minute or two, people start to settle in.
3) That standard intro always had an element of heart connection - I would imagine that I was opening my heart and talked about (genuine) appreciation that I was there and we were sharing time together.
4) When creating my presentation, I learned that my average timing was 3 minutes per slide, including the first title slide and last / contact info slide (they counted too). So if it was a 30 minute presentation, max number of slides was 10. Knowing my own pace, it allowed me time to tell stories, make eye contact with individuals, smile, relax, share info and have fun. Rushing through 50 impossible slides leaves zero room for relationship and connecting with others, and most important, connect with the people who are silently cheering for you and genuinely interested in what you have to share. ❤️