My nephew is a gifted educator.
He works with young children and the unsung heroes who teach the little angels every day.
A while back, he shared a question with me that he uses with his students whether they're acting out, crying, or quietly sitting alone in the corner away from the group.
“Do you want to be helped, heard, or hugged?”
I don’t know about you, but I love that.
It’s a simple question with universal power. A direct route to the emotions of a bruised toddler who has fallen at the playground. A bullseye into the melancholy of an octogenarian worn out from decades of experience navigating the world.
Think back to a time when you were in physical and emotional pain. Did you feel confused? Disoriented? Numb?
Now think about how you might have felt if someone had stopped and asked you if what you needed was to be helped, heard, or hugged. To put a name to your feelings.
One word that unlocked what you needed right at that very moment.
If you want to be helped, it could mean that you don’t understand what is being asked of you. That you don’t have the skills. You feel overwhelmed.
If you want to be heard, you want to get something off your chest. It isn’t fair. You want others to listen. To understand your point of view.
If you want to be hugged, you want to be seen. You want to know that you matter and you’re special. That you deserve to be loved.
Right now do you want to be helped, heard, or hugged?
We are collectively living through an unprecedented time of change. The difference between the steady flow of a river and the unrelenting rush of the rapids.
It is happening so quickly that it is impossible for us to adjust. The sponge has absorbed as much as it can, and the rest of the mess has nowhere to go.
Just three years ago, 52 percent of adults were on the internet. Today, 93 percent use it daily. Just five years ago, there were 22 billion connected devices like smartphones, cars, and in-home devices. In 2023, it’s estimated that will be more than double that number to the tune of 50 billion. Heck, 90 percent of the world’s data was collected in the last two years.
100 years of progress in the 21st century will feel more like 20,000 years.
Wait. Stop. I want to get off.
Sure, some of it’s amazing. A possible cure for cancer. A robot that can make your bed and fold your clothes. Electric flying cars that are submarines and can make a perfect omelet (well, not quite yet).
And some of it is terrifying. Social, economic, and environmental unrest.
No wonder we are having trouble. Thinking. Sleeping. Breathing.
Sorry, there is no silver bullet that can stop change.
But I offer you one question that can help you and the people you love to have a better day.
“Do you want to be helped, heard, or hugged?
”
Gifted indeed - thanks for writing this, going to start using this question with my kids (and wife?)
A simple and yet powerful post... ❤️❤️❤️