Growing up, we had a vegetable garden in our backyard. It was not a fancy okra, rhubarb, and kohlrabi garden. It was a simple zucchini, summer squash, and tomato garden.
Mom planted the seedlings in early summer. Dad turned on the sprinkler when he came home from work. And every Sunday morning, my grandfather came over to help with the tomatoes. He showed me how to remove suckers, put in stakes, and appreciate the nourishing magic of Mother Nature.
I loved working in the garden with my grandfather. As a kid, I thought I was learning how to grow tomatoes. As an adult, I realized he was teaching me far more valuable lessons on how to live a good life. My grandfather passed away decades ago, but these lessons have stuck with me.
Lesson One. Prune people who drain energy from your life
Do you know what tomato suckers are? These are small shoots that sprout from the intersection where the stem and branch of the plant meet. In most cases, they don’t flower or create fruit. They just suck nourishment and energy from the plant.
Are there people in your life that fall into that category? You can be honest. No one is listening. These are the people at work who use thousands of words to tell you something that could have been communicated in a single sentence email. They are salespeople that wear you down with detailed descriptions of endless features and functions. They are people who waste your time with insipid gossip and empty misinformation.
When you are feeling drained, think of the tomato suckers. Get rid of the people who steal your energy so you can redirect it to relationships that help you thrive.
Lesson Two: When you have support, it is easier to grow
Tomato plants have a mind of their own. Left to nature, these bushy plants will flop onto the ground where slugs, small pests, and deer will destroy their leaves and fruit. Stakes and cages help the plants thrive by encouraging upward growth away from the dangers of the dirt and the ravages of wind and heavy rain.
Tomato plants flourish when they have steadfast support. My grandfather taught me how to use rope, yarn, and ties to secure the vines of each plant. Attached to a sturdy anchor, the plants have space to extend their branches and bask in the warming rays of the sun.
You know where I am going here. Every day, each of us is faced with endless choices of where to go and what to do with our lives. What job to take, partner to choose, place to live. When we have the support of family, friends, and mentors, it provides us with the confidence to make decisions that enable us to grow.
Feeling unsteady? Seek out a source of support.
Lesson Three: Be aware that blemishes on the outside don’t reflect beauty on the inside
Becoming a tomato is hard work. Depending on where and when they are cultivated, it can take 60 to 100 days to fully ripen. During that time, they have to combat blossom end rot, fungus, and competing tomatoes for water and nutrients. They can develop bruises, black spots, cracks, and even the dreaded deformity, catfacing.
However, when you compare the flavor of a perfectly plump store-bought tomato with the arguably ugly one that you nurtured from a seedling, there is no match. The awkward homegrown fruit undoubtedly offers a sweetness of sun, soil, and summer that is beyond compare.
So next time you meet a person, animal, or tomato that looks a bit unusual, remember that their blemishes represent their survival over the elements. They did the hard work, weathered physical and emotional challenges, and persevered. There might be something very special and sweet inside.
Bonus Lesson. Because we all want to know… Is a tomato a fruit or a vegetable?
They are both. Botanists say yes to the fruit. They define a fruit as a ripened flower ovary that contains seeds. Nutritionists say not so fast. They use the term fruit to describe sweet and fleshy plant parts that are high in fructose. So to a botanist, a tomato is a fruit. To a nutritionist, it is a vegetable. Does it really matter?
All I know is that this is the best time of year to eat tomatoes. Whether you enjoy them in a simple sandwich with fresh cracked pepper, a cool Caprese salad with basil and fresh mozzarella, or chill them for a refreshing gazpacho soup, to me, they are a delicious wonder that nurtures our bodies and our souls.
What is your favorite way to enjoy a tomato?
We are all tomatoes!