Let's get together. I really mean it.

Why we say yes to social commitments we never intend to keep

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

You bumped into a colleague from a past job over the bananas at the grocery store.

You chatted with a long-lost friend from high school waiting on the train platform.

You connected with an interesting person at a fundraising event for the local school.

“We really should get together. Soon.” You mean it when you say it. Your intentions are pure when you put their phone number in your contacts.

A week passes. A month passes. A year passes. You didn’t make the call or send the text. Why?

If you are anything like me, it’s because you are basically an introvert. You like to talk to people. You are genuinely interested in who they are and what they have to say but it’s easier to stay on your path. You have work to do. The weeds in the garden are taking over. You want to finish that kind of weird but kind of compelling TV series about the vampires in Staten Island.

Making the call and setting up the coffee will take you out of your comfort zone. You have to plan to get there, wait for the person to arrive (I’m always early), and then cross over the awkward moment of reconnecting. Do you buy the coffee while you are waiting or wait to buy the coffee when they get there? Do you offer to pay for it? Do you let them? Do you split it?

Come on. You are ridiculous. You are a successful functioning human being. You get up every day, brush your teeth, put on clothes, and make your bed. You can’t get out of your own groove and make the effort to show someone you care?

So here is the challenge.

Call the person you have been meaning to check in with. Make the date to see them. And then go and see them. And, you buy the coffee. They are giving you a gift by enriching your life.

Drop me a note and let me know how it goes.