I’m a meditation failure.
I’ve tried the apps. Joined meditation sessions at my yoga studio. Concentrated on what “the air felt like” as it brushed against the bridge of my nose. Nothing. Nada. Goose egg. Meditating is supposed to calm you down. For me, it does just the opposite.
But do not fret my dear friends. I’m not a burning hot mess of anxiety. I’ve found a much better solution.
When I am feeling anxious, I tap my Instagram app and watch mesmerizing cake decorating videos. You know what I’m talking about. The elegant rose petal bouquet perfectly placed on top of an intricate basketweave. The white crumb coat that transforms into a vibrant rainbow, one joyous color after another. The lifelike hamburger cake sculpted from fondant and crowned with a flawlessly airbrushed buttered bun.
Watching these edible works of art come to life doesn’t make me hungry. It relaxes me. I experience a sense of euphoria when I watch the cake decorator lovingly turn a messy lump of buttercream into silky smooth base coat to be enhanced with lavish piping. I stare in wonder as the fuchia frosting squeezes out of an icing bag to form an elaborate border of sumptuous swirls. Oh, and when they bring out the glimmering silver knife and cut the cake to reveal the perfect layers inside… I get goosebumps.
To be honest, I was slightly embarrassed by my fetish until I learned about Autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR). It’s a real thing. With real science behind it. It’s a pleasurable feeling, like a tingling on your scalp and down your spine. Kind of the opposite of fingernails against a blackboard. It’s triggered by different things for different people. Some feel it when they watch people brush their hair, or when they hear a whisper or see someone pour milk on their cheerios. For me, I feel it when I watch cake decorating videos.
Nothing to be ashamed of here.
With this social validation in place, I’ve added watching cupcake and pie baking to my calming routine.
What about you?