Confessions of a middle child
Does birth order really matter?
Growing up, I was convinced no one noticed me.
I wasn’t the oldest child and I wasn’t the youngest. I was the middle-est and according to the Oxford dictionary, that is not even a word.
The oldest, my sister, had no choice but to be the responsible one. We were three siblings, born two years apart. It was the early 1960s. No internet, ipads, or disposable diapers. It was mom, us, I Love Lucy, Gilligan’s Island, Swanson’s TV dinners, and Sesame Street. Dad was on the road building a business from Monday through Friday. There was a lot to do in our house and my sister landed squarely in the capable and reliable spot.
Two years after I showed up, my brother arrived. He was the classic youngest child. Fun-loving, adorable, and the life of the party. Oh, and he was a male, athletic and charming. Not to go off on gender stereotypes, but he was the golden boy. Dad always made it to his baseball, basketball, or whatever other ball games he was playing. The beautiful baby. The center of attention whatever he did.
And then there was me. The middle one. Ignored, neglected, and overlooked. As a result, to get noticed, I became the peace-maker, people pleaser, and problem solver. I worked behind the scenes and never stood out. Actually, I couldn’t stand out. I was the smallest person in my family. Full-grown, I stand at 5 feet 1 inch on tall days.
Here comes the confession. While I played the “Middle Child Syndrome” card all the time, I secretly loved the fact that I didn’t have to live up to the standards of the dependable oldest child, or the high expectations of the youngest one. Being the “forgotten one” has actually helped me become more self-sufficient, empathetic, diplomatic, and flexible. And while I have no aspirations for becoming President of the United States, more than half of the leaders of the free world have been middle children.
So what does this mean to you dear reader? If you are a middle child, be proud of who you are. You are special in your own way. If you aren’t the middle child, make an effort to share a real-world or virtual hug with your middle child sibling today. And if you are the parent of a middle child, give them a little extra attention, especially on August 12th. It is National Middle Child Day. Never heard of it. My point is made.
Bonus list for you today! 17 famous middle children. There is something for everyone here.
Abraham Lincoln
Warren Buffett
Princess Diana
David Letterman
Bill Gates
Peyton Manning
Martin Luther King Jr.
John F. Kennedy
Charles Darwin
Ernest Hemingway
Michael Jordan
Walt Disney
Martha Stewart
Georgia O’Keefe
Susan B. Anthony
Mark Twain
Madonna
Surpised? Don’t be. You shouldn’t underestimate the power of the middle.
I would like to nominate Marji for number 18 on that list; perhaps as an honorary member.
Marji, I loved this. As the oldest of seven children, birth order has been a regular topic over the years. Your insight is so right on and valuable for people to understand sometimes, why they are they way they are. We are all products of our environment and family being the one the imprints on us first and deepest. Your story also made me think of my parents and their struggle to try to make every child feel special. Thank you!