Are you ready for unconditional love?

Musings on what it means to become a grandparent

I was weeding the garden, dripping with sweat, and worrying if that itch on my ankle would turn into poison ivy.

I overheard my beloved barking into his phone.

“Yes. What do you want?”

He was digging out a drainage hole clogged with leaves from last fall. Hot. Aggravated. Impatient.

“We’re busy. Knee deep in guck. Do you need to talk to both of us right now?”

Silence. He was listening to the voice 2800 miles away on the other side of the phone.

Then a shout, “Marji. Come over here. Now!”

The news was a surprise.

The caller from across the country - was pregnant.

How could that be?

I mean…. I know physiologically.

I guess I wasn’t ready emotionally.

Memaw and Pawpaw were OLD!

My memories of my grandparents were sealed in sepia.

They had grey hair. They walked with canes. They wore glasses.

I wasn’t like them. I was young and full of life.

Really?

My hair would be grey if I didn’t use that stuff in the box. New aches and pains torment me daily. And, I would be blind as a bat if I didn’t wear my contact lenses.

Hmm. Maybe those faded photos of my grandparents were vibrant with color decades ago.

Grammy and Grampy were wise, cooked yummy foods, and let me do things my parents wouldn’t.

Papa Harold and Granny Rose took me to the beach, let me eat candy, and told us funny stories about my dad.

All four of my grandparents loved everything about me. My muddy feet. Messy hair. Whiney voice. Everything.

They were always happy to see me even though I picked my fingers. They wrapped me in the warmest hugs. They made me feel safe.

Are today’s grandparents different?

They spend hours deciding on the onesie that says “Party at my crib. 2:00 AM”, “I’m not crying, I am ordering dinner” or “Keep Calm. It is only spit up”.

They love to share pictures on their phones. “Here he is smiling. Isn’t this poop face the best. Look she is reading already!”

The videos are even better. “Here is the baby laughing. Here is the baby eating. And my favorite action-packed feature film…. Here is the baby… sleeping.

Not that different.

If Grammy had an iPhone, would she be sharing photos of me with her friends at the pool? If Granny Rose could shop on Amazon, would she have bought me a onesie that says “I drool therefore I am?”. And would Grampy and Papa Harold make lengthy videos of me in my crib dreaming?

Of course, the answer is yes. Different times. Same emotions.

What is it about your child having a child that unleashes unconditional love?

Is it the way they grip your finger with their tiny hand? Nestle their warm head between your neck and shoulder? Or how their face lights up with a smile just for you?

I guess it doesn’t really matter. They own you now!